The Art Of The Pick Up: The Bricklane Strategy For The Clueless!


Note from the author: this article was first published in the Dr Ruthbard’s Love & Relationships column in Selwyn Monthly Review (SMR), June 2012 edition.


Aye, behold the infamous Bricklane Maiden Post. Hear ye! Hear ye!

Learning how to pick up girls and make them fall in love with you shouldn’t be hard at all. The truth is that most guys tend to over-complicate things when it comes to loving and seducing women. If you want quality relationships with women then you have got to work for it! Forget what the guru’s tell you. Most of them are clueless as hell and they only want your money. Stop spending money on worthless ebooks unless you know for sure that the instructor is legitimate. Only learn from proven experts like Mystery, Neil Strauss, Derek Rake and Johnny Malone. Ditch the rest. ;)

Picture of women getting picked up

Learning how to pick up women takes time and effort – but you will enjoy quality relationships once you mastered the techniques!

Now what you need really is the right set of tools that you can use to pick up women anywhere you go. In this short article I will share with you some of the best techniques on picking up women and how you can use the same techniques to immediately improve your seduction game by at least five (5) times. Read on to discover what you can do to pick up girls and make them fall in love with you effortlessly starting from today…

First, research as much as possible when it comes to learning dating and seduction. A good source of seduction knowledge is the Internet. Join groups of your local seduction lair and start networking with your peers. These can then be your wingmen when you are out there approaching women. Also, check out blogs like the famous Seduction FAQ and Fast Seduction. Using these dating tricks you will be able to make any woman fall in love with you pretty easily. Always remember that there are guys out there who are good with women and all you need to do is to learn from them directly. There is no point reinventing the wheel when it comes to trying to understand women psychology.

Also, practice picking up girls at public places. Now you must understand that learning pick up from reading is not enough… you must be out there DOING things in order to learn about dating. Don’t be a keyword jockey. Approach women and talk to them to build rapport. Once you have done this enough you would have built yourself your very own seduction arsenal which is invaluable.

If you can, learn techniques like fractionation, the Dark Rake Method and hypnosis. These are advanced techniques, but they work wonderfully well. Advanced persuasion is definitely very powerful, and you can use these techniques to “hack” into a woman’s mind and make her fall in love with you. These are also known as “female loophole” techniques that are super effective but very controversial. Use them at your own risk!

Finally, be nice to look at. Ignore gurus who tell you that looks don’t matter in dating and relationships. That is total hogwash. Looks DO matter. You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt but it always helps if you are at least pleasant looking. No women want to go out with a total slob with a poor fashion sense.


I am constantly amazed with how most guys completely FAIL at dating. At the same time I realize that it is not your fault if you can’t seem to get a girl to like you. All you need is a good set of dating techniques and tricks which are proven time and again to work when it comes to impressing women.

Anyone who thinks that he could just learn fractionation seduction and start to get good results at dating is delusional! In fact, it’s doubly hard when the woman that you want to seduce already has a boyfriend. In this respect, learning how to seduce a woman with a boyfriend is indeed tricky – unless you already know some Boyfriend Destroyer techniques. Here at the Bricklane Bookstore we have a couple of resources on boyfriend destroyers, but we usually reserve those because these techniques can be really dangerous when they are in the hands of the unscrupulous. Some men want to use boyfriend destroyers on married women. We certainly do not want to be breaking up families!

Wise words from:


I Hate It When I Get “Used”… :(

Is she using you?

Is she using you?

Dear (naïve and trusting) men all over the world, there are bad women too. And these bad women are capable of hurting you real bad. You need to be aware of this fact if you live in a perfect world with women who are second only to your mothers in virtue and purity of the soul. Yes, there are bad women and they won’t stop at anything to hurt you for their own sake.

It is pretty much unfair for men to get all the blame in mischievous and dirty tactics in relationships because, as far as equality is concerned, some women are just as guilty. These are women who just use men to their advantage; for work, for cash, for another man, for a lot of other stuff! The thing about it is that it’s always the good guys who fall victims to these bad little girls.

Is she using you?

Want to know if your ladylove is using you and your undying admiration? Here are the SIBG’s guide to talking to women and 5 telltale, fool-proof signs to it:

  1. She bosses you around. You are a most convenient partner if you give her everything she wants and does her bidding every.single.time. There’s a difference between a woman who asks and a woman who bosses you around. But if she asks, albeit nicely, for practically everything except wiping her behind, she is bossing you around – again, albeit nicely. And yes, she is using you.
  2. If she’s only nice when she needs something from you. It’s a pattern. She’s always available to you and always extra sweet coincidentally when you just got your paycheck, or when the malls offer massive sales, or when she needs some new shoes for her next party. When was the last time she was actually nice to you and did something for you for the sake of making you happy and not to gain a favor from you? You’re her boyfriend, not her sugar daddy.
  3. When she tortures you before you get what you want from her. Is asking for a beach date or a little bed action too difficult for you? Do you have to bribe her to get small favors from her? Is she always unavailable to your pleadings and to whatever you need from her 80% of the time? Does she find your pleadings mundane and useless compared to hers?
  4. If she blackmails you whenever you refuse to give her what she wants. No new shoes for her? That’s a whole night of partying and flirting around for her. No date for tonight? She’d probably lock herself up in bed and hint at breakups or suicide. A genuine woman will talk and understand, not put you on an emotional blackmail just because her bratty little demands aren’t met.
  5. Does not try to make you happy (unless there’s anything good in it for her). A woman who truly, genuinely loves you will always look out for your welfare and will actually gout of her way to show you her care no matter how busy she is; not even how upset she is at you! If she shows none of this genuine stuff, and only those fake shows of affection, you’d be better off single than with a woman who’s just after something from you.

So does your relationship fall into one of these? You had better do something to change it. And yes, you’re very much welcome!

Wise words from:


I’m Going On A Beach Date…

Beach dates are among the sexiest, most fool proof dates anyone can ever have. The sun’s warmth, the sound of the ocean kissing the shore, the waves, the sand between your toes, the wind on your face – it has all the right ingredients for a fun, carefree date. Why she doesn’t like you? Try to date her in a beach… that’s the killer tip!

Not to mention: this is a perfect time to show off the body you’ve been working out on all year. If you work this one out perfectly, everything should work in your favor: she’d be in a great mood, the atmosphere is just as fun as it is sexy – these are things you can totally take advantage of to make your moves and make her like you.

Beach Date Essentials… Bricklane Style!

To make sure that everything does work out in your favor, don’t forget to bring these beach date essentials and with the knowledge on how to pick up girls:

  • Sun block lotion. The last thing you want when you’re trying to make an impression is to have annoyingly painful and ugly sunburn. It’s going to ruin your whole experience and you’d look funny the next day – something you totally wouldn’t like if you’re gunning for date number 2. PS: Go for the oil based one if you want to highlight your muscles. Channel your inner Men’s Health cover guy!
  • Shades. Get the best sunnies you can get your hands on. See, the right pair of sunglasses can frame your face to highlight your best assets and thereby make you look your absolute best. On the plus side, it protects you eyes from the sun too! PS: It does not have to be of the most expensive brand; it just has to be the one that best fit you.
  • A good pair of swimming shorts. I don’t care if you have the best glutes and behind in town – just don’t wear those skimpy, tight-fitting neon-colored Speedo’s on a beach date! It does not look as sexy as you imagined them to be; it may even make you look creepy. Leave that stuff to the likes of Ryan Lochte. For a beach date, go for some regular-looking swimming shorts: no neons, no Spandex, just regular shorts.
  • Accessories. You can’t really do so much accessorizing when you’re half naked on the beach, but you can always have some bling to go with your beach shorts. Go for a simple necklace with a pendant of wooden beads, some manly bracelets, and maybe even an anklet. Just remember not to overdo it so you don’t end up looking like a misplaced hula dancer. Don’t forget the right beach bag to put all your stuff in too!
  • Your sunniest disposition. Forget about work, leave your stress behind and be absorbed by the beauty of the beach and the beauty of your date. Your beach date can only be as bright as your smile so wear your brightest, warmest smile and show her just how much fun a company you are. You’ll never go wrong with that!

So, what are you waiting for? Pack your beach bags and go now… and if you need further reading, check out the Sonic Seduction guide to flirting!

Wise words from:


She Fucking Hates You…

Remember this song? ;)

Let me guess: you’ve been crushing on this girl for the longest time and you think you’ve done practically everything you could possibly do to woo her and na-da. The fighting spirit in you is present, though waning. And you’re already questioning your value as a man and as a human being. That or you’re already at the point of rethinking your life and giving up on your love life in general.


She might be just playing hard-to-get, but she may also be genuinely uninterested.

And the one question that keeps bugging you is this: why doesn’t she like you? She could be playing hard-to-get, but it could also mean something else.

To ease your mind and at least give you a clue on what your next big move should be, here’s a checklist of the most probable answers to your question:

  • She does not find you interesting enough. Maybe you bored her on one occasion of a date. Maybe you were not engaging enough in your conversations with her. Or maybe, just maybe you were not confident enough and you bored her with your self-demeaning conversation styles and that made her find you boring and disinteresting. If this were so, the issue is not on her but on you. If your insecurities are hindering your love life, then find it in yourself to boost your own self-confidence – not so much to win her heart, but to win your own and you become the person you were meant to be – your own ideal self.
  • You are not her type. Ouch. Did I say it a little too bluntly? Yes, maybe you really are not her type. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Do not hurt your ego further by ‘transforming’ into her ideal guy. It may work now but it is doomed to fail and it will so in the long run. If she does not like you because she’s into the exact guy you are not, then accept rejection and move on. You cannot mope around for the rest of your life just because one girl rejected you. Move on.
  • She’s a lesbian. Ahh well. There’s really nothing we can do about this, can we? Her sexual orientation is fixed and you cannot possibly dress up as a woman. This is more impossible to achieve than just not being her type of guy. So just give it up buddy. Find yourself a new woman to fancy.
  • You’re not hygienic enough. Yes, your personal hygiene matters. It can make or break your love life. It’s one of those things oft disregarded and neglected, until you see the importance of it. Have an honest check – alone or with a trusted family or friend. Smell your underarms. Look at your face. Smell your worn clothes. Smell your breath. Breathe on your dog if you have one. Bad hygiene often sends the message that you do not take good care of yourself and thus you won’t take good care of the other person in your relationship.
  • You’ve never done anything to make her like you. All the ‘efforts’ you’ve done for her are in your head. You’ve never gotten past the routinely sighs and stare-at-her-from-afar moments. Have you ever once tried to send her flowers? Or chocolates? Or a secret admirer note even? Not even a single flirtatious remark or glance her way? Boo. Stop wondering why she doesn’t like you back because you never gave her any motive to see you that way.

If you’ve been having unsuccessful dates, you might want to study more on how to be an expert in flirting with girls.

Wise words from:


Playing Hard To Get? Here’s The Antidote… Bricklane Style!

Most, if not all, girls are natural at playing hard to get. That’s an instinctive reaction that is understandably the result of ages and ages of conservative thinking. Remember, girls making the first move is a fairly young concept and so does playing easy. For ages, playing hard to get has been love’s big secret.

However, there are women who play harder to get than others and there are instances that require women to play harder to get than usual, with the latter part being more dependent on the man in question.

If you are faced with a woman whom you think is playing hard to get, here are the classy and gentlemanly ways how to get a woman to love you:


For the longest time, people have thought that love’s big secret is playing hard to get.

  • Define playing hard to get. Sometimes, you men can get so full of yourselves that you assume the woman is only playing hard to get when she’s actually already rejecting you. Sometimes, women can get so subtle to protect you from yourselves and from her inadvertent ‘NO’ right in your face, would carelessly send mixed signals about her true feelings for you (or in this situation, the total lack of it). The most common thing that defines hard to get from rejection is the level of interest. A girl who hardly likes you does not show any interest, even when she’s friendly. A girl who plays hard to get will show interest – albeit in teeny weeny amounts – but still shows some. Oh and she chases back when you start pulling away.
  • Do not let it scare you away. This is the most common and worst mistake that men do with their hard to get ladies. Be gentlemen of courage and valor and face the challenge, silly! When she plays hard to get, she wants you to chase her, to prove to her that you are worthy of her time, effort and love. And it would be silly to turn your back around just because you think it’s a ‘scary thing to do’. Face the challenge and come back victorious.
  • Do not be desperate. It’s okay to chase her. But don’t chase too far as to lose your face. That would make the efforts futile – girls don’t like losers who lap at their feet and do as they bid. No. Sure go ahead and chase her, but pull back somewhere. Play mind games with her. Be someone who knows his own value – when she sees that, she will respect that. Show her that you’re here to stay but you won’t stoop down to an impossible, inhumane level. A good trick to winning in this situation is to stop and walk slowly away when you’ve gone far enough. It’s a good test of whether she likes you or not. If she does, congratulations – she likes you. If she does not, well you’ve fought a good war my friend.
  • Be your best self while trying to win her. Being your best self does not only make you win the woman you’re pursuing. It also boosts your self confidence that the woman who truly wants you would notice. Whether you get accepted or rejected, the better version of yourself that you’ve gained will remain and will help you with the next girl you fall for.

Enjoy this “blast from the past” video!

Wise words from:


Why You Suck. Yes, YOU.

So you’ve been out and about on the dating scene a little too long for your standards.

You’ve hardly gone past the third date and everything else ended up even before anything could start. And you’re getting tired of it. You’re looking for something better, something that will last more than just a dinner and a few drinks. You’re yearning for something that could blossom into a relationship.

frustrated guy

Haven’t been successful in dating? You are not alone. Read on and learn.

And now you’re asking why. What have you been doing wrong? Here are some reasons why your dating life sucks:

  • You have been hooking up with the wrong girls. Sometimes, we have this ideal lady in mind without thinking whether this ‘ideal person’ fits your natural persona. More often than not, we – guys and girls alike – live with this ideal image of how the opposite sex should be but unfortunately, we fail to weigh whether or not these ideal images match our own personalities, and thus it ends unsuccessfully. One good way to solve this problem – if indeed this is the problem – is to make better choices in the kind of people you go after. It would also help if you look for girls in places where you have a personal inclination to. Try looking at the places where you spend most of your ‘me’ time in – the bookstore, the gym, cooking classes, etc.
  • You are not hygienic. Oh don’t roll those eyes at me! I’m speaking nothing but the truth and it does not take a genius to know that one of the biggest turn offs of a man is bad hygiene. Do you wear a clean set of clothes when you go on a date? Do you shower and brush regularly? Do you even wear deo? Oh, and being hygienic does not stop there. Some of our habits and mannerisms talk of bad hygiene practices. Keep this factor in check because it matters! Read this why unhygienic men are voted the worst lovers.
  • You package yourself the wrong way. It could be the way you dress, the way you walk, the language you use, and maybe even how you introduce yourself to women might not suit you. If you present yourself as a cocky, God’s-gift-to-mankind guy who has taken every amount of confidence in the physical world, you’ll find out that girls won’t really be happy about it. Being too shy and too introverted may not help you out as much as well. Find the right balance of being confident with who you are and the right person will appreciate that. Oh and while you’re at it, make sure you are groomed well at every date outing. It helps a lot too, you know.
  • You talk about the wrong things on a date. Do you talk too much about yourself? Do you talk too much about your ex? Or do you even talk? How you converse at dates affects how successfully it will be – or otherwise. You should be able to control the conversation. Here’s how to control women to give you an idea. When on a date, make sure that you play the conversation game well. When it comes to women, it’s always about being a good storyteller, and an even better listener.

So, have you checked yourself? Are you ready to make changes? If not, there are a number of reasons too why you should stay single. Good luck!

Wise words from:


Charles Weasley Is Single… And Proud Of It

For a dating tip, this is quite on the contrary side. But seriously, there are times when we – men and women alike – should take time to enjoy solitude, singlehood, and the joys of platonic love. For you men, especially, there are tempting benefits to staying single instead of going out to chase women night after night, bar after bar, and/or staying in a relationship that ends after a few nights of sleeping together. It’s totally possible to be single and happy!

Here are some of the reasons why you should stay single for a while:

  • Being single is more cost efficient. You don’t have to pay for dates, buy gifts, or buy two things all the time. Your tube of toothpaste, bar of soap, pack of bacon will last you a month or week longer because you don’t have to share it with anyone. More SAVINGS, yay!

Being single is economical.

  • You have more time for yourself. You can think more clearly without having to think about what someone else might think about what you’re doing. You can cut your hair any way you like, you can grow your beard a la Dumbledore and you can think about what you want for yourself notwithstanding someone else’s opinion. You can eat, go, visit, try, sell, buy, swap, throw, keep whatever you like to your heart’s content. Oh and if it helps, yes, you have the whole bed to yourself unless you have an overly clingy pet dog.
  • You can be friends with anyone without fear or worry about any girlfriend disliking it. We girls just tend to be so affected with everything and everyone around you that sometimes we end up telling you who to befriend and who not to – directly or indirectly. When you’re single, you can befriend and flirt all you want without fear of going home to sleep on the floor. No jealous girlfriend!
  • You can focus more on other things in your life. You have more time for friends, family, hobbies, sports, vacations, camping and everything that does not really fancy women. Again, you can do as you please when you please.
  • You are nowhere near the dangers of impregnating anyone and starting family life prematurely. Except if you’re a serious one-night stander or you have a ‘friend with benefits’, and you practice safe sex, you will not have to worry about coming home to a girlfriend holding a positive blue kit. No worries, then, of being shoved into the family life before you’re even ready.

The thing about halting your dating life and trying to live happily and contentedly as a single person brings you the ultimate benefit that is:

You have more time to figure out what you truly want and the kind of woman you want to end up with therefore eliminating the need to jump from one relationship to another. Simply said, staying single for an amount of time gives you the chance to figure out what you want so when you are ready again to be in a relationship, you know where to look for her and how.

And yes, this also applies to women.


If you get bored being single, go to SIBG first before making any move!

Wise words from:


Quick Question

Hello Bricklaners! I was having coffee earlier with a friend and he suggested that I ask someone, a woman in particular, to write for this blog as a guest. He said it would be a good idea to hear what the ladies have to say about dating and seduction.

What do you guys, think?

If you think I should invite a guest blogger, and I am really thinking about it, who do you think should it be? My girlfriend? Uhm, I’m afraid she would discover that I’ve been playing mind games with her through a technique I’ve learned recently. And I don’t want that to happen.

What about someone from our readers? I think that’s a better option. So ladies, if you’re interested, send me an email! I’ll be waiting!

Help! I Have A Jealous Girlfriend!

Hello, I’m back after a short break. :) Last week a blog reader emailed me a question about jealousy and how to deal with it – so this is my answer.

Dealing With Jealousy – The Bricklane Way

Picture of a jealous woman

Dealing with jealousy is an important skill set if you want to be good at dating and relationships. Fact! :)

Girls are jealous. Period. It is in every woman’s DNA to see every other female human being a threat to her relationship. It could be that maternal instinct of protectiveness to what she calls her own, or I am just bluffing to find scientific proof why we girls are jealous. We get jealous of your best friend (of either sex), your lady friends, your lady boss, your cat, your dog, your video game, your everything except your mother and father and sisters. But the bottom line is, yes, we are the most jealous creatures in the world. But, there are days when a girl’s jealousy just goes overboard – you can always ask my own boyfriend for the most accurate description of when jealousy goes a little too much. It goes along the lines of illogical and random, oh, spawn of the devil too!

How do you handle a jealous girlfriend? How do you not lose your own wits when she gets possessed by the J word? And more importantly, how do you pacify this impossible emotion? It is important to be able to handle this sticking point if you want to be good at dating and attracting women.

Here are my jealous girl tips:

  • Don’t nag or get mad when she’s jealous. This is the most difficult thing to do. It’s hard not to get mad when she’s already accusing you of so many things just because some random girl sat next to you in the bus and got off the same stop as you. Try as hard as you can to keep a calm composure. My boyfriend could literally pass up for a monk in his level of calmness, and that is only a year of being my boyfriend. If you get mad, she will think you are guilty of whatever it is she’s accusing you of. And it will really start a fight. A jealous girl is a girl on fire (thanks Alicia), and your anger will fuel it. Fumes will die down on its own if you let it be. This is basic female psychology you must know.
  • Think of her non-jealous moments. If your girlfriend is great when she’s not jealous, I can assure you she’s still okay after being jealous. If her jealousy becomes unbearable, think of her ‘okay’ days to keep yourself from getting angry at her. Learning how to attract women requires patience – read this mindblowing article for more tips.
  • Be sweet. If you’ve managed to keep calm and thoughts of her sweet self are flooding your mind, being sweet to her in spite of her anger will be so much easier. Hug her, kiss her, hold her. This I can assure you, it will shut her up (unless she’s a total war freak or jungle girl, that’s beyond me).

Assure her and never give her a reason to be jealous. Girls are like vampires, we can smell hot-blooded women from afar and as much as we possibly can, we will protect our men. Never get tired of assuring her that you don’t care about any other girl no matter how hot they are.

Lovely woman's picture

And also, keep your actions in check. Are you doing things that make her jealous? Does she get jealous with just a particular girl?

And men, remember this: all of these comes as easy or as difficult as you choose it to be. Your level of commitment will tell you.

Hope you enjoyed reading that article. See you soon!

-Steven :)

PS: Found this article on The Independent on the same topic – give it a read.

Love on The Run (Is That A Song?)

Can you really find love in less than 3 minutes? Apparently, you can. Or at least try. CNN explained how speed dating has become popular ever since it started during the late 2000s, and how it’s been evolving ever since. A lot of singles have found enjoyment in speed dating, and if you are quite curious on how the whole thing goes, don’t worry—you’re not alone.

Surely, the idea of “dating” someone in less than 3 minutes will stimulate curiosity. How is that possible? Well, I think it all boils down to chemistry and spark. You know this too well—you’ll definitely know if there’s a certain chemistry that’s going on between you and your date. When it comes to speed dating, 3 minutes is enough for the both of you to determine if there’s a spark or if there’s that initial “thrill” of meeting someone for the first time. This is why speed dating is very popular—it saves people huge amounts of time.

Speed Dating Explained

Speed dates are normally organised by groups and can be categorised into two—straight speed dating and gay speed dating. I’ve read reports on how the latter has become so popular not only in the United States, but the rest of Europe and Asia! Time2

The appeal of speed dating cannot be denied. The chance of meeting a person who may be “The one” for you is definitely out there in the open, and a speed date may be your way to find out who he or she is. Normally, what happens before a speed date involves the following:

  • Registration. This is the part where the participants will register their names with matching numbers. Throughout the speed date, no names can be given, and participants are only identified through a number that was given to them prior to the event.
  • Speed Date. This is the fun part—participants attempt to know each other in less than 3 minutes or so. In such short time, it’s up to the participant on how he or she would want to present himself or herself to her date. Participants may have a checklist and note numbers that catch their attention. When the time limit is up, a buzzer sounds, indicating that it’s time to move on and get to know the next participant. After all participants have met everyone, they return their checklists at the booth.
  • Intermission. Normally, at the end of a speed date is a brief intermission in which the organisers would tally the results based on the participants’ checklists. Usually, they will announce whose number received the most number of checks/YES. It is up to their discretion if they will reveal the results on the same night, or contact the participants after a day, should the results be favourable and would make a match.

Timing is Everything

You’d never know when or where your “the one” would be, but it won’t really hurt for you to discover the joys of speed dating. Not only it is fun, but you get to meet a lot of people along the way. You can practice you seduction skills here– you’ve read about the wonders of Sonic Seduction and the importance of knowing how to seduce women here on my blog, right? You never know what can happen—so go out there and make yourself available to the world!
Wise words from:


Julia and Robert

Hello, readers! Today, my girlfriend Aminah told me a story about her friend who recently was involved in a blind date. If you’ve been following my blog for the past months(which I hope you still do!), you may remember this article that explored blind dating.

According to Julia, Aminah’s friend, it was quite difficult at first to process the thought that she  was going on a blind date. I could never blame her! Besides, meeting a total stranger is scary, but at the same time exciting– you just never know if the person you’d meet next would be the one for you.

Who knows what could happen?

Who knows what could happen?

Anyway, it turned out that Julia had a great time. She told us that Rupert, her date, is extremely smooth and nice. He got her swooning over him almost instantly because of his suave demeanor and confidence. I half-jokingly told Julia that Rupert might be reading my blog, particularly an article that I’ve written about seduction– because he seemed so good at it!

Turns out blind dating can lead to potential relationships, like in Julia and Rupert’s case. The excitement continues. I would definitely report their progress from time to time!
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